The other day I was catching up on Erik Marcus' podcasts and on the
September 10 show he mentioned Paula Deen's
Big Mike Burger, only because of how incredibly NOT VEGAN it is. He also said he'd like to see someone try veganizing this gluttonous creation so I thought I'd give it a whirl. On the one hand, there's only so much you can do in veganizing something that's all beef and butter. Go ahead, click on the link and see what's in this thing. Call it morbid curiosity but since the Food Network doesn't see fit to publish nutrition information for their recipes (at least not this one) I went to
NutritionData.com and punched in some numbers. A single double-decker burger has around 1200 calories, including almost 100 grams of fat, 35 grams of which is saturated fat. It also has 250 mg of cholesterol and 1500 mg of sodium. That is truly a heart attack on a plate if ever I've seen one. But if you really want to see something scary check out all the 5-star
reviews - and realize that these people are serious.
Well I'm not against gluttony every once in a while as long as it's vegan-style, so this evening I spent some time in the kitchen coming up with this:

I'll call it the Big V Burger - there's not an animal product in sight. I started by making homemade buns from a
recipe I've mentioned before. Both burger recipes are adapted from a back issue of
Vegetarian Times (July, 2000).
Tempeh-Pecan Burgers1 8-oz. package tempeh
2 Tbs. vegan margarine (like Earth Balance)
1 c. pecans
1/4 c. each diced onion, red bell pepper and celery
1 clove garlic, minced
1 Tbs. Braggs (or soy sauce)
1 tsp. tomato paste
2 tsp. cider vinegar
2 tsp. maple syrup
1/2 tsp. liquid smoke
3 Tbs. chopped fresh parsley
fresh ground black pepper to taste
Cut the tempeh into a large dice, cover with water in a saucepan and simmer for about 15 minutes. Put half the tempeh into a food processor and crumble the other half into a large bowl. Heat the margarine in a skillet over medium heat and add pecans, onion, bell pepper and celery. Cook until the veggies start to soften then add the garlic and cook another minute or so. Add this concoction to the food processor along with the remaining ingredients and process until everything is well blended and fairly smooth. Add to the bowl with the remaining tempeh and mix well. Form into 4 equal-size patties and fry in a little canola oil over medium-high heat for 4-5 minutes on each side or until nice and brown.
Seitan Burgers8 oz. seitan
2 Tbs. vegan margarine
3-4 shiitake mushrooms, diced
1/2 c. diced onion
1/4 c. diced red bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. thyme
3/4 tsp. cumin
fresh ground black pepper to taste
1 Tbs. Dijon mustard
1/2 c. flour
1 Tbs. cornmeal
1 oz. vegan cheddar, cut into small dice
Coarsely chop seitan, put in a food processor and pulse until finely chopped. Heat the margarine in a skillet over medium heat and add shiitakes, onion, and bell pepper. Cook until the veggies start to soften then add the garlic, salt, thyme, cumin and pepper and cook another minute or so. Add this concoction to the food processor along with the remaining ingredients (except cheddar) and process until everything is well blended and chopped fine. Transfer to a bowl, mix a little with your hands then form into 4 equal-size balls. Press your finger into the middle of each ball, add some vegan cheese, close the ball around the cheese and flatten into a patty. Fry in a little canola oil over medium-high heat for 4-5 minutes on each side or until nice and brown.
For the "Special Sauce", we sort of followed Paula Deen's recipe but just reduced it by a quarter (because that's all you really need). Just mix all this stuff together: 1/4 c. vegan mayo, 2 Tbs Dijon mustard, 1 Tbs. ketchup, 1 Tbs. agave, 1 tsp. minced jalapeño, and a dash of hot sauce.
To serve, cut 2 buns in half. On the bottom half of one, put a tempeh-pecan burger. Top with another bottom bun half and then add a seitan burger. Top that with some of the sauce, a slice of tomato, lettuce, red onions and a pickle. Top it off with the top half of a bun and enjoy a cholesterol free indulgence. (I didn't figure out the nutrition data for my vegan version but I guarantee it's a far cry better for you than Paula's.)
Now for those of you who don't have such a big mouth you could do what I did for Darlene and make a single-decker sandwich with half of each kind of burger. As we noticed when I cut them in half, the soy cheese inside the seitan burger doesn't really melt that much but still we thought it looked cool.